Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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