Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
