NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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