I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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