Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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