just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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