is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
