shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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