nut hugger
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
