carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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