I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
