there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You smell like stripper and shame
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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