why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
