Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
