I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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