i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
