WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
