Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
