he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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