So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
