last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize