I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
