She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch