We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
