She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.