Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
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I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.