I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.