Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant. http://tfl.nu/c7ag
  Replies (23) Good night (3186) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet. http://tfl.nu/znz0
  Replies (11) Good night (803) Bad night (3668)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I'll probably hate you when I'm sober

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I'll probably hate you when I'm sober http://tfl.nu/uq7b
  Replies (28) Good night (3646) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here. http://tfl.nu/jyp5
  Replies (14) Good night (7924) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (+54): View more from

  look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+54): look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels. http://tfl.nu/ux1z
  Replies (11) Good night (7220) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own. http://tfl.nu/wlot
  Replies (4) Good night (1971) Bad night (1374)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds. http://tfl.nu/9tr4
  Replies (11) Good night (2331) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic. http://tfl.nu/b9sf
  Replies (5) Good night (2036) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?

  (226): View more from Ontario

  Don't answer that. It is bad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (226): Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice? (226): Don't answer that. It is bad. http://tfl.nu/e65p
  Replies (5) Good night (1217) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head. http://tfl.nu/s37i
  Replies (14) Good night (1792) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell. http://tfl.nu/vby3
  Replies (5) Good night (346) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me. http://tfl.nu/jaom
  Replies (1) Good night (483) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities. http://tfl.nu/3c8w
  Replies (2) Good night (362) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  The feeling are messing with the penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): The feeling are messing with the penis http://tfl.nu/t2zd
  Replies (3) Good night (258) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement. http://tfl.nu/0r09
  Replies (1) Good night (527) Bad night (241)

Randomize