There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
