guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
