her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
