If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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