Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
