Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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