I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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