The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
