Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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