North Korea, Best Korea!
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
