What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
