Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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