she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
