3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
