their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
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Don't EVER smell your tampon
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
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In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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