i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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