Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
