the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
