Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
