The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Sext me about skeletons
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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