the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
