what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We talked him into tasing himself.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
