i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
