She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
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I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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