when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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