New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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