Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
