textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
