just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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