I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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