Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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