Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
