This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm both gender and math confused
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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