I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
