OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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