Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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