you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
home. puking in laundry basket.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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